Dual....:-)
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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