I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think a kid would responsible me up
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
