i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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