i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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