Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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