Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
