You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
