It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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