How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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