you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
