I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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