You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
