it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
