lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he thought i was a dude.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
