Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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