Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
