I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
