There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
