I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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