Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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