you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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