I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
