So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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