I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
