Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
