It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
