Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
