getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
