Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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