remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
