from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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