He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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