On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
