So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
