Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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