If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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