Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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