White coat. Heels.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
