so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
