My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
