and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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