ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
