i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
