is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish you could order shots online.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
