Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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