her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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