I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
