just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
