wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
