they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
